Notebook #3: What are your emotions trying to tell you?

For a long time, I thought some emotions were simply better than others.

Confidence was good.

Calm was good.

Happiness was good.

The rest? Well, I tried not to pay them too much attention.

If I felt anxious, frustrated or upset, my instinct was to push those feelings aside and get on with things. I thought that was what resilient people did.

Coaching helped me see emotions differently.

Instead of asking, "How do I get rid of this feeling?" I started asking, "What's this feeling trying to tell me?"

That one question changed so much.

I began to realise that emotions aren't problems to solve. They're information. They can tell us when something matters, when a boundary has been crossed, when we're excited about a new opportunity or when we're living in a way that doesn't feel true to who we are.

Of course, that doesn't mean every emotion is comfortable. Some are messy, confusing and inconvenient. But I've learned that ignoring them rarely makes them disappear. If anything, they usually find another way to get our attention.

One of the things I value most about coaching is having the space to become curious rather than judgemental.

Not:

"Why am I feeling like this?"

But:

"What might this feeling be trying to show me?"

I've found that when we stop fighting our emotions and start listening to them, they often have something important to say.

A question to leave with you...

Is there an emotion you've been trying to ignore? What might change if, instead of pushing it away, you became curious about what it's trying to tell you?